saturday | october 10 | 2009

home. (attempt #2)

The Church is revealed to all as

a brilliantly lit heaven, leading

the faithful in the way of light.

Standing therein, we cry aloud:

make firm the foundation of this

house, O Lord.

- From Post-Communion Prayers

this is my home.

you are my family.

i'm about to lay it

all out there.

sometimes i can be loud.

also, i wear tattered jeans, and

i don't always iron my shirt.

i can't really do much about my breath, though.

my tithing is minimal, and

i think about girls while trying to pray –

i've kissed too many in my time.

sometimes i cross myself like a catholic.

i don't always hear the sermon, and

even when i do, i might not listen.

i find the bible a difficult read;

television is frequently more interesting.

i like to swear, and have probably

set a bad example for the youth –

i find them more laudable than 

most of the people here. sorry.

i like to smoke.

being drunk is also kind of nice.

i think superbad is funny. dirty jokes

make me laugh and cringe – but mostly laugh.

i have eaten meat on wednesdays.

fridays too. i am selfish, proud, overbearing,

boisterous, irresponsible, unhelpful,

lazy, sloppy, a little stinky,

at times a malingerer, and occasionally hurtful.

i also isolate myself, but right now

it's nice to put my feet up.

i have a hard time believing in my value,

not being able to see the forest for the trees

as i constantly replay the scratched tracks of my life,

and i like to take refuge

in my identity as a sinner,

rather than my call to be a saint.

forgive me for all this, and know,

we'll probably have to have this conversation again.

maybe not.

but probably.